Sure as Autumn Flame


The (New) Year’s Resolution
January 12, 2013, 12:53 am
Filed under: Rhyme & Riddle, Two Cents' Worth | Tags: , , , , , ,

As the decadence of December unwraps its long bony fingers from my throat, I gasp – both from the release of its slow choking grip, and at the first inhalation of January’s crisp (and if I must say, jarring) bitter winds of change.

What a year it has been, and what a ride it seemed. One thing for sure, my brakes certainly weren’t working in 2012.

As the devil on my right shoulder would have it, enough of the year already. His pointed ears and arrow-tipped tail would already be dishing me my next glass of whisky and pulling me to bed to busk in his glory. For each time a person on the surface of this earth makes a new year resolution, it is the devil’s job to have them break it: a symbol of his victory.

So I’ll play the fiddle that strokes his enlarging ego, I’ll jump onto the derailed train that moves at a speed that pleases him;

I’ll whirl around the carousel of champagne, whisky and wine, while he thinks – this lady in cloud nine, ain’t she divine?

So I seize the devil by his horns, you think of me: your puppet, and you: my master of indulgence – right and wrong;

I laugh the devil’s laugh as I ride into the sun, his cries of anguish and frustration rise a note with each gallop and bound;

I tease him with his pitch fork as I would tantalize my lover with charm, not the devil’s, not the devil’s charm;

I let the devil sit on my shoulder, if he whispers, I listen, alas my attention long gone.

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I clutch at my throat, feeling the indents of December’s cold grip. January comes billowing in like Santa’s sleigh up my driveway, with its promises and hopes that the year could bring. Surely, spring would warm my soul and ease away those tendrils of pain. Then summer could set ablaze dreams to plans, turning amber to flames – of fulfillment that tastes so sweet.



New Year once again
January 2, 2012, 3:33 am
Filed under: Rhyme & Riddle, Two Cents' Worth | Tags: , ,

6 months later, I’m back dusting off cobwebs off my blog.
6 months later, I’m home wiping off the dust that has settled on my shelves.
6 months later, I’m at another cross-junction
Reconsidering; thinking; weighing options; hesitating at the leap forward.

It is the new year, 12 years past the millenium. Every year is a reflection, of my achievements and my life’s milestones.  Too often time has flown by without my knowledge, when I was too busy running the rat race to fully appreciate what I can offer to myself. Where’s the music, the prose, the words that spin the yarn of life? Where’s my time, my soul, my hideout where inspiration flows?

So what’s 2012? A planned year, a charted path. An unexplored territory within the depths of my heart. The usual routine, challenges and hurdles, some wonderful memories, some painful ones. A dive into cold spring waters, penning my own chapter, riding my own wave.



Into 2010
January 11, 2010, 11:29 pm
Filed under: Two Cents' Worth | Tags: , , , ,

A decade has passed, and I am ten years older.

When one was 15 years old back then, we often wished we could grow up quickly, see the world for ourselves, earn money to buy the pretty clothes we wanted. Now that I am 25, the years gone by are but another year of experiences, reflections and life’s lessons.

It was a quiet one this year, when we ushered 2010 in.

Ten years – I have had my fair share of fun, friends, sports and downturns; I went through phases of happiness and despair; I was a band geek, I basked in the glory of winning sports teams, I gritted my teeth through those exams; I partied till dawn, I studied through the nights, I travelled, I wrote, I learnt to love, fell out of love, and fell in love.

In ten years, I’ve witnessed birth and death up close.

Ten years ago, I attended my mum’s cousin’s wedding. Ten years later, I attended my friends’ weddings.

Let us not count the decade that passed us by, but upon the same notion, let us count our blessings and the joys that 2010 and beyond will bring.

I stepped into 2010 on a sombre note, remembering how I had neglected to turn up at gatherings, outings and catch-up sessions in view of work, exhaustion and exercise. This 2010 I resolved to play catch-up as much as I can, considering how five years fly by before I see anyone of those who were once close to me. As the harsh reality of the world sets in, I came to realise how some tend to befriend you only if you bring value to them; upon losing that – the friendship terminates…like a contract, is it not?

It was extremely heart-warming to see the your friends ease into the next phase of their lives as a married couple. More joyous occassions call for the celebratory champagne when my god-sister gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. They named him Caleb, a name which I thought was absolutely perfect for him.

It was an experience going through knee surgery, to be dependent and stuck at home for a whole month and beginning from scratch – to walk, to balance, to stride, to run. The feeling of being back on water and soaring through air was worth the $18,000 that my right knee is now worth. It was another (if I may add, traumatic) experience watching a loved one in a fatal accident, with a slow but sure recovery that makes me forever thankful that I still have him by my side as good as new.

There is suddenly so much to treasure and love in life. I’ve discovered a richness in life that I have never felt before, and I finally, learned to stop chasing and enjoy God’s miraculous work. For the longest time I was ill at ease with myself, wondering how best I could fit in, how quickly I could mark my first success, how insecure I really felt deep down inside.

It does not mean that I could make a sweeping statement by declaring I’ve achieved nirvana. But a step forward I did take, a layer that has been peeled back and I now see clearly – ever so slightly. Ahead of me is a path filled with promise, hope and everlasting joy – pleasures I discover in the simple acts of what I do, who I love, and who I cherish in my life.

And with this I close my chapter on 2009, and ride 2010 with a high that I will always want to have in my life.